He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize