I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Even my vagina gasped.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize