is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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