Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
