I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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