Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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