I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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