Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
