dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
