D3 body, D1 cock
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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