how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
