Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
