Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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