Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
