If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
