Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
