just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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