check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
