your room smells of hookers.
And success
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
