the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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