I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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