My friends, they love my intelligence
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize