so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
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I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
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The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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