Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize