I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
