Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
