Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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