HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
