vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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