The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
