i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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