i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
