I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
