The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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