Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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