What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
