I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
