i don't like sucking hair
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
