I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
