I'm drive I can fine osifer
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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