i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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