I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
