Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
