Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
