ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
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he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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