how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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