It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
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hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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