im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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