i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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