girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
