I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
4 words: hood of his car
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
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Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
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My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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