So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
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All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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