is your mom at the bar?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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