I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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