I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
