When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
